After a meal of red steak and fried onions I let rip and it really stank, how do I appologise to my hostess?

Question

I was the sole guest of the evening and I'm desperate to have sex with this woman. I have boughts of hyper flatulance does anyone know the cure?

Answer 1

I seriously doubt the steak/onoins caused the gas that came out at the dinner. It takes a little while to digest so it was probably something you had earlier, possibly breakfast. Try gas-x available at any pharmacy. It may help. Also pay attention to what things cause the worst attacks then avoid them. If the gas-x and better diet don't help then see a doctor.



This happens to everyone, even women from time to time. If it was an obvious fart then your best action is to make a sweet and sincere apology then drop it, don't let it make you all nervous. If she has any class, she will understand and not think twice about it.

Answer 2

You must come up with an elaborate tale that it was a compliment. That where you're from (it doesn't matter) such a hyper flatulent STANK really means, "Hey... That was a good meal. And you know what? There's a LOT more where that came from if you sleep with me."



Unless she's totally psycho, that is sure to work.

Answer 3

There are tablets to help cure flatulence. However, you could always try saying sorry. This should hopefully break the ice and make both of you laugh. If that works, great, you still get her in to bed eventually providing you are handsome charming witty and nice enough for her.

Answer 4

Why apologize? You should have chastised HER for not putting CHEESE on the steak so you coulda really let RIP and flavored her food, dude! Farting is a sign of MANHOOD, and she should appreciate that -- provided you didn't peel off the plaster on her wall behind the table when you cut loose.

Answer 5

I am puzzled. Where I come from it is absolutely normal to rip away after a good meal. You would get admiring looks the more dramatic its exist is.



All the whos who here, do it without batting an eyelid.

Answer 6

Well since you are typing and the incident has passed, your chance to do much of anything went out the door. You should have immediately bought her a dog and then blamed him for it.



OR, say this "It's not bad manners, just good food"

Answer 7

No. You're SO uncouth. You only deserve to have sex with a warthog.

You may be lucky if she's got no sense of smell....

Try and control yourself. Go to the bathroom next time like a grown up.

Answer 8

I think you can pretty much kiss this relationship good bye. I'm not sure how you could apologize for this. You should have excused yourself to the restroom when you felt this bubbling up inside of you. I highly recommend seeing a doctor. There is a cause for it and it likely could be your diet.

Answer 9

Best thing to do is eat a can of beans and 3 fried eggs before your next date....that should stop the smell..of onions anyway..

Answer 10

dear Rats ***

it is common for the bowel to void surplus gas during the evening.

the best remedy is to be more careful with food combinations during the day, and to go for a walk after eating the evening meal.

Answer 11

Flatulence: cut down on junk food and dairy.



Re the apology: too late, look for another woman who has never experienced your windypops.

Answer 12

I can't see this woman being desperate to have sex with you after that - buy some charcoal biscuits!! You could always try appologizing to her and saying you have a nervous disposition?

Answer 13

You know what I think? You should just forget about it. If you mention it and start trying to apologise for it, she will probably get just as embarrasesed as you. Maybe later when you know each other better you can both laugh about it but for now, just forget about it.

Answer 14

I think it takes about 8 hours from mouth to ***, so it was probably something you ate earlier.

Charcoal tablets are good for alleviating wind

Answer 15

Start by using the FREE spell check that is posted next to your question BEFORE you hit submit.....does anyone know how to spell words and use proper grammer anymore??

Answer 16

Drink more water, eat less meat, eat more meals that are fruit only for some meals.

Answer 17

A simple excuse me will do.



Try Beano for the farts.

You can get it at a pharmacy.

Answer 18

You tell her: "Damn that was some good cooking, woman!"



And at your next dinner date, remember to take some Gas-X beforehand.

Answer 19

flatulence medication - my dog has them regularly and he blows off regularly in a polite manner of course.

Answer 20

She should take it as a complement to the chef, that's the way i'd spin it anway.

Answer 21

Buy her some air freshener

Answer 22

Hahahahahahahahahahahahah, this really made me laugh, tell her its "written in the wind".

Answer 23

Don't apologise, women really like that sort of thing.

Answer 24

Let wind go free where ere you be.

Answer 25

blame the dog that works

Answer 26

i think its better it came out that back-end instead of the top-end....good luck w hostess...

Answer 27

Don't worry about it, Just say excuse me and it's all good

Answer 28

go to the doctor

Answer 29

Just kill yourself. Theres no hope for a'holes like you. Use a gun.

Answer 30

You could blame it on the dog if she has one.

Answer 31

Pardon me for being rude it was not me it was my food

Answer 32

ROFL...She'll have to accept that this is natural for you, so no apology needed.

Answer 33

Put a cork up your ars- hole.

Answer 34

have a shite on her pillow, nothing could be as bad as that and farting would be ok

Answer 35

Enjoy it.

Answer 36

wipe your c o c k in her aapron

Answer 37

blame it on the dog?? does she hav a dog??

Answer 38

wahahahahahahahah i dont know

Answer 39

is this a joke?