Americans, is saying "excuse me" rude?

Question

Hi! I am not American but have moved to the United States.For some reason I have a hard time getting "excuse me". I feel like if people are saying "get out of my way". Like when I'm coming out of a bathroom and somebody is going in, they say "excuse me". I feel like their saying "Move!", but I have the same right to go through there since I'm going out. I'm not like standing in the way and not moving.

Like me, I just say excuse me someone is on the way and doesn't move.

So I would like Americans to explain me if I'm just being paranoic and not getting something, or if Americans do feel the same way as I do sometimes?

Thanks.

Answer 1

Your English is great! Don't worry. I correct so many native English speakers on here it makes me happy to know that someone actually cares about their English usage.



To say "excuse me" is very polite and normal. However, it is the tone of voice that is the important part. My mother for example will say "excuse me" when she is upset or pissed off and it is most certainly not meant to be polite. If you hear a negative tone in the words of the person speaking it then you are probably correct in feeling that it is meant impolitely. As in all languages, the tone and intonation is very important in understanding the exact meaning of the speaker's meaning. Hope this helps!

Answer 2

Depends of tone of voice. Saying "excuse me" can just be a polite way of letting someone know that you are coming through and that you don't want to run into them on accident. Saying "excuse me" in a rude way is not a good way for a person to conduct themselves. People who do it rudely are being bullyish. It's a bad deal because they already have the upper hand, just by saying I rudely. What are you going to do about it? Get into a big argument inside a grocery store 'cause someone is rude? And these people who are rude count on the fact that no one is going to confront them.

A couple of weeks ago I had a young punk say excuse me, very rudely. I didn't appreciate it at all. Part of me wanted to take him out to the parking lot and teach him some manners. Best thing to do with these random rude excuse me's is just not worry about it. If it is too rude then don't move. Let him walk around you. If he finds offence, then just laugh and walk away.

Answer 3

Most of the time when people say "excuse me" they mean it as a polite way of saying they are, in a sense, sorry for being in your way. However, it can also be said in such a way to let the other person know that what was said was unacceptable to them and maybe further explanation is needed. In other words, when you, say, get too close to someone you are trying to walk past or nearly run into coming off of an elevator, it is considered polite to say "excuse" me. If during a conversation you've said something, and someone remarks "Excuse me", that is meant as a question, usually because they strongly disagree with what you just said.

Answer 4

I am so proud of you for asking because so many times we have people move into our country and try to impose their language, customs upon us as Americans. Thank you is what I would like to say first !!! Secondly, excuse me is by no means saying move !! Nor is it rude. Unless someone uses it in the wrong text. Example: If you say something to someone and they take it wrong and in a tone of voice go "excuse me??" That is when they are being rude. Otherwise, for the most part Americans are considerate. Once in a while you run into a total butt. Again, thank you for asking !!

Answer 5

I am American, and I think it depends if it is said with a sincere tone in their voice. for example, if I am in the market and I need to pass in front of someone, I will say excuse me as not to look rude and impolite .I also heard it where someone says EXCUSE ME, like you just really made them mad and they imply that you are out of line.In the pollite form it is said to let the other person know your intention was NOT rude if they passed through a door at the same time you got there.In most cases a polite person would defer to you and let you go first.

Answer 6

No, Excuse me can often be used rudely, like Excuuuuuuse me! but A simple Excuse me is often just pointing out politely that you are in the way, it's also a way of asking you to excuse them for them being in your way. I say excuse me to get peoples' attention or to excuse my own behavior. And your english is actually very good!



Have a nice day! Hope you like America so far!

Answer 7

it depends on what pretense it is in in the case you described its just a polite comment so that you dont think they're being rude. there are cases where people will you "excuse me" to get attention (sort of being rude) such as if they're at a resturant and they ordered something if they're not such a polite person and its a fast food place a lot of people will come up and say "excuse me but i didnt order this sandwich this way, you need to get it right". (worked at a fast food place) but thats pretty rare most people who say excuse me coming out of a public bathroom are just saying so that they arent being rude. does that make sense. and there are other ways to use the phrase too but hope that makes sense

Answer 8

It might be taken as rude if you use the wrong tone or make the wrong expression when saying this. Unfortunately sometimes you have to come across as rude in order to get people to listen to you.



If anything it's rude to make someone have to say "Excuse Me".

For example: It seems like every time I'm at the supermarket someone makes it a point to leave their cart right in the middle of the isle so that you either have to wait for them to finish or go down another isle.

Answer 9

Usually it is said as a way to be polite.



If you're clearly not in their way and they say excuse me only because they are close to you, that's just a habit of being polite. It's almost like saying "sorry".



When I pass by someone and brush them it's a reflex for me to say excuse me.



If someone wants to pass you they will probably say excuse me as well, and it's not meant to be rude either.



The only time it should be taken in a negative way is if it's used in a sarcastic tone. Americans are usually blunt and if they were implying for you to move, I can pretty much guarantee you they would just say "move".

Answer 10

Alright, so when they say excuse me, it's a bit like saying "move" but in a more polite way.



Also, they might be saying that so you know that they're coming; and it's a bit of an apology as well, if they accidently bump into you while walking around.



I think you're being a teensy bit paranoid; it's just a habit around here

Answer 11

It is actually just the opposite. "Excuse me" is a polite was of saying "I am sorry that I am in your way". It is a very respectful and polite comment. They are not being rude in any way. I can see how you would feel like this not being of this culture. You will get used to it.

Answer 12

Americans use "excuse me" unknowingly. If we get within 2 feet from someone "excuse me" falls from our tongues. Do not be discouraged. You are not at fault.



Saying "excuse me" can be a sign of respect, or a sign or disrespect. Depending on who you hear it from. So regardless, do not dwell. You are not here to please other people. If you're walking out and they're walking in and they rudely say "excuse me", then that's weight on their shoulders, not yours. Try not to be a people pleaser so much, because you could waist a whole lot of great energy and potential worrying if someone likes you or even worrying about if they meant to be rude about saying "excuse me". Its a legitimate question, but really I wouldn't worry about it.



Im a born and raised American and I love my country. Hell yeah, I love it so much Im going to fight for it, but some Americans are just plain stupid.





Enjoy.



-Kali

Answer 13

Ok there's a difference. You can either say it like "EXCUSE ME B!0TCH!" Or "excuse me sir/ mam" Just dont' scream it, and you're excused. It's a lot more polite than saying MOVE. You can't really say anything else without coming across as rude.

Answer 14

Saying excuse me is polite.

obiously you dont know anything about being polite because the way it sounds for you to say "americans" multiple times like that is very rude. we get the point in the first question so whatever!! this question is crazy!

Answer 15

"Excuse me" doesn't mean "move" in this case. It either means "may I get past you" or "I'm sorry to have gotten in your way".



Sure, you have the right to go through just like they do, but both of you should try to make room for the other to pass by and not take up all of the space yourself.

Answer 16

It depends on the tone. People can be incredibly and deliberately rude saying "excuse me", but generally it's just an easy way of saying "let me pass by" or "excuse my rudeness/forwardness/pushiness/etc"

Answer 17

It is usually more a reflex than anything else. We are in the habit of saying that when we pass someone in a close area. In other situations, we do say "excuse me" when we wish to draw your attention that we wish to pass by you.



It is not intended to be rude, but it can seem that way.



By the way. Your English is very good. Far superior to many native speakers in this forum!

Answer 18

The rudeness of "excuse me" depends entirely on the intonation you use. If you just politely say "excuse me", it's not rude at all. If you put a big incredulous accent on the "excuse" part ("EXCUSE me"), then it sounds rude, and you sound both rude and snotty if you make it sound like an exaggerated question ("excuse me??").

Answer 19

No. You say "excuse me" to be polite. Of course some people will say it in a mean way, but they're just rude and you have to ignore them. :)

Answer 20

Excuse me is a nice way of saying i'm or you are in the way

Answer 21

Not get used to the new culture. Culture shock probably.

Same with me when I was in China and heard Chinese say "excuse me"



"excuse me" is a polite word indeed, like "please let me pass"

for other use : "excuse me" can mean "sorry for interrupting" "sorry I don't catch the word you're saying"

Answer 22

Regardless of whether I think of it as being rude by saying "excuse me" or not, I always follow up by saying "thank you" afterwards no matter which country I m in or with whichever culture.

Answer 23

thas so adorable





n e ways they are being polite



when they say excuse me they just be nice sayin am coming through dont worry it's not like a threat its a way of showing politeness

Answer 24

Saying "excuse me" is being polite and is common courtesy. It's a lot better than simply pushing your way through without a word. So I think you're being a bit paranoid :p

Answer 25

you are not being paranoid! saying excuse me in the states is proper etiquette. But every once in a while there are people who are in a hurry and forget to say it or are just plain rude and don't want to waste their time......what i do is just say it politely and hopefully others follow my example

Answer 26

yeah you're in america alright. congrats, you're here. The reason most people don't say excuse me nicely is because they have more important things on their minds than who said excuse me to them that day

Answer 27

ur typos are fine but really saying excuse me is the polite way to saying you are like coming though and all.

Dont take it a bad way and all they arent meaning to be rude they are just trying to be polite and all dont worry it is normale and all.

hope i helped(:

Answer 28

It can be. It depends on the tone and body language. Some people are only about themselves. It's best to get out of their way. Then you can say it to some people and they are clearly out of the country or out to lunch. (don't hear you or see anything)



Welcome! Smile. You will go far.

Answer 29

It all depends on the tome in your voice and if you add a smile or a frown.

And if all else fails don't say anything at all.:) good luck

Answer 30

Oh yea, its fine! Where sare oyu from? England? Your english is excellent if youre fro ma country that doesnt speak english!

Answer 31

We say excuse me for everything- it is considered good manners. Its shortened. I suppose the proper way to say it would be like, "Please excuse me for interrupting/sneezing/being in the way/ect.," or whatever, but most people just say "'Scuse me!"

Answer 32

depends on your attitude. If you are saying it nicely then it's just a friendly excuse me. IF you have an attitude it will be like get out of my way! hope i helped. welcome to America!!your english is pretty good.

Answer 33

Not rude at all!

Continuing saying it, saying "excuse me" is more like being kind.

Answer 34

nope its not rude and we arent being rude its more kind then rude..unless you say it rudely sometimes you can just tell if they are being rude..but most of the time it isnt meant to be rude

Answer 35

sometimes people actually mean it when they are excusing themselves, and sometimes they are implying for you to move.



you kind of just have to judge it based on their tone and the nature of the situation.

Answer 36

no,but don't say it in a nasty way. I say that all the time and no one looks at me weired or anything,it's manners.

Answer 37

excuse me is = to pardon me.



"Excuse you" = Rude

Answer 38

Americans aren't the nicest people, i know, ive lived here forever.

Answer 39

no not at all.

saying "Move!" is

but not excuse me....