What do you think of this?

Question

Last summer,l got into an argument with longtime "friends" who were supposed to be helping me celebrate my 25th birthday. On that day, we stopped speaking due to the nature of what happened. I won't go in details right now.

About 2 weeks after the bday incident, one of those "friends" wrote me a curse- out letter calling me stupid and a host of other names. She insulted me in many ways. I did not respond to her or the letter. In fact, I just ignored her completely. I haven't seen her since all this happened last August. When my grandmother died in November, she repeatedly called my mother and offered condolences but didn't acknowledge me in any way. Fine, whatever.

So today, she randomly emails me tickets to some movie screening saying she just thought I would be interested in taking a friend. WTF is that? She casually sent that email as if we just had a friendly conversation the other day or something. I plan to ignore her and her email but what do you think she's up to?

Answer 1

Just curious...



Is it possible that she sent just the email (blind copied) to everyone in her email address book, or was the email addressed to you personally?



In all honesty, by MY way of doing things (if the email was addressed to ME), *I* would respond politely and just say, "no, thank you".



Lets her know that she can be as mean and rotten to you as she likes, but you are classy enough to address her without degrading yourself.



Could be that she wants to make amends as well, and even though it's a silly way to say, "I want to make up", your responding politely might open the door for her to give you the apology you so obviously deserve.



Of course it is totally up to you whether the relationship deserves any further acknowledgment. If you could care less about the friendship, then do nothing. But, if in the back of your mind you have mourned the loss of the friend, then take the advice to respond and see what happens next.



People makes mistakes...sometimes very BIG mistakes in judgment, perhaps she is ready to say she is sorry??



Can't say for sure since you spared the details...

Answer 2

You turn it into the wind and face her. You become coldly polite .You graciously acknowledge her offer of the tickets and you thank her for thinking of you

You politely tell her that you would love to go with her But before that can happen the two of you need to sit down and work out what is clearly "a misunderstanding between you"

You find a diner and you work it out

Regardless of how it ultimatley turns out you win in the end

You will either have re- established a friendship or the friendship that you just dissolved will have a positve closure

Both yourself and your "friend "will have a very clear understanding of exactly why the friendship ended

Writing bullet points on a 9x11 legal pad prior to the meeting and bringing the pad with is a great idea.

The secret to sucessfully doing this is that thoughout the meeting you maintain an even strain [ see the above cold politeness]

She can be trying to take you for an emotional roller coaster ride >But you don't get on that train

Instead you always maintain that even strain

You'll be fine

Good luck anyway

Answer 3

I think it may be a hoax. After she done cuss you, and said she will never talk to you again, where does the sincerity come all of a sudden? It could be a set up or maybe she wants you to go with her to try to patch things up. I think you should just ignore her like you have been doing.



However, it may seem that she is a bit concerned about how you are doing, because you said that she asks someone else about you through myspace. So maybe she does feel a bit guilty about what had went down last year.



My whole thing is that once you insult me, that's it. I don't want to talk or anything. In your case it's up to you with what you want to do. Had I been in your shoes, I wouldn't even bother with her. If you do decide to respond back to her, it would be a good time to express how she made you feel on your birthday. At least you would be getting it out.



As for the whole birthday incident, sorry that you didn't enjoy your birthday last year. No one said happy birthday to you? Happy Early Birthday! That's sad that you had people around you like that. Not even a drink or anything. Hopefully you will have a good birthday this year. Hell you going to JA! You should enjoy it.

Answer 4

The e-mail could be multiple things. It could be her trying to apologize. (Poor way of doing it. I'd still wait for that apology.) Maybe she sent tickets to everyone on the e-mail list. Maybe it is actually a hoax, and someone hacked her e-mail account. Finally, perhaps she had bought these extra tickets, went through her whole list of friends, and she is now trying to pawn it off on you at the bottom of the list.



Either ignore the e-mail or simply e-mail her back and tell her "No thank you." It has been almost a year. She probably has gotten the point by now that you were really hurt. Go ahead and open up the lines of communication again. See what she says. Also, talk to your mother and find out what her tone of voice was like last November during the sympathy phone calls.. Maybe while she was calling your mother, she was trying to get the guts to actually talk to you too.

Answer 5

She is probably feeling bad about what she did. Make no mistake wha the offering is, it is an olive branch. I always tell my gf , " Are you so popular you dont need another friend?" It would be like starting over as a friendship if you accept. Dont be foolish to forget this persons temper though. But work through it... I want as many friends and few enemies as possible. You dont have to be freinds but you can forgive her and have peace on the issue. That will give you a little more peace in your life.

Answer 6

I think she is just thoughtless and inconsiderate and instead of an apology, she has bided her time hoping it has been long enough for you to get over it all. A real sneaky way of dealing with it all I think! I would ignore her too. She is just going to bring more of the same thoughtless behavior your way if you let her and you are better off without that kind of trouble in your life.

Answer 7

She's too embarrassed to apologize and trying to smooth it over without having to -OR- she plans to meet you at the screening to kick your @ss.



Either way, I would casually reply to her e-mail by saying, "Dear (whatsherface), It was very considerate of you to offer me the tickets. However, since you were such a total inconsiderate bi$c# to me on my birthday, and have yet to even apologize to me for that, please take those tickets and shove them directly up your @ss. Sincerely, (you.) P.S. Until you do so, take my e-mail address out of your address book and do not contact me again. Have a nice life you stupid, selfish tw@t."



GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 8

She is trying to pretend that it didn't happen because she is embarrassed. She is hoping that you will do the same and save her from having to apologise.

Very common and quite childish as ploys go.



Do not respond. Ever.

Answer 9

sounds like she is up to something.

good idea, dont respond to that email or accept the tickets. keep ignoring her and maybe she will leave u alone for ever and ever. but wat if she tries to talk to you in person??

wat then?

Answer 10

maybe its her way of saying sorry. or maybe she misses u or sum other crap like that.

Answer 11

"I can hold a grudge forever"



It's sad that you say that like it's something to be proud of.