Poll:If you invite someone for a birthday dinner,are you the one that has to pay for it?

Question

My friend got mad at me for not going to her dinner party last night.The only reason I didn`t go its cause I had no money at all.Anyways I feel like she was the one who had to pay for my dinner since she invited.In birthday parties you never see the people having to pay to eat or anything as the invitors had to pay for all the tables,place,music,food,decorations,cake and that costs probably over 2,000 in all.I mean I was probably gonna get free cake but that was pretty much it.I think that if she was to invite people for dinner,she has to be the one who is supposed to pay for our food.Anyways what do you guys think?Thanks

Answer 1

This comes down to personal choice and what feels right for the individual. Some people are open to paying for a meal when celebrating someone's birthday and often expect to do so when the invitation says 'dinner'. Some people differentiate between a birthday dinner and a birthday celebration in someone's home and are happy to pay for their meal as part of the festivities. Equally, some people share your point of view and feel no obligation to pay for a meal at a birthday dinner celebration. If you truly felt it was an unreasonable request to pay for your own meal, it would be beneficial for you to have an open, honest conversation with your friend and share your thoughts/feelings about what she wanted. There is no right or wrong here, simply different perspectives, each valid for the individual.

Answer 2

I think that the person who asked whether you'd like to participate in this birthday gathering should have made it clear whether you were being asked to be a guest (meaning that the host provides food and beverages) or asked to join in the fun at your own expense. There is nothing wrong with an invitation that goes "The birthday king and his family are having a celebratory dinner at The Blackhawk Tavern at 7. If you'd like to join the fun, the hosts will be providing birthday cake for everyone." Saying that the hosts are providing cake says that the hosts are are not providing dinner or drinks.



Maybe she was expecting that even if you couldn't afford dinner and drinks, you'd show up for a short while to wish her a happy birthday?

Answer 3

Yes; the person who invites you to dinner is expected to pay for the bill, and the tip. Such an invitation would be worded something like, "I'm taking out all my friends to dinner next week for my birthday," or "I'd like to invite you to Fratelli's for spaghetti."



However, that is different than someone who is simply acting as an organizer. As long as the organizer informs you up front as to what is expected, you are free to accept or decline, as you wish:

"Hi, this is Becky. Some of us are getting together at 7:00 Thursday evening, for dinner and drinks at El Chico on Maple St., for Sandy's birthday. We're each going to pay our own way, and we're each going to chip in $5-10 to pay for Sandy's meal and drinks, and some people are going to bring gifts, others aren't. Would you like to join us?"



You can say "Yes", or you can say "No", or you can say "I'm not sure; I'll be there if I can." The only thing you could wrong would be to show up and then refuse to chip in for Sandy's tab, or to say "Yes" and then not show up at all (that could screw up the reservation count).



Note: if the "organizer" does not make the arrangements clear, it is your responsibility to ASK.

Answer 4

I think its ridiculous to invite a bunch of people out on your birthday and expect them to pay for themselves if your a certain age, like highschool kids and younger, suppose your friend had a pizza party at their home, would they expect everyone to chip in for the pizza?



as a kid I was invited to several dinners birthday dinners and they always paid not me.



if your over 18 and someone invites you to a bar.restuaraunt so they can get pissed on their birthday with some friends, Id say in those situations don't expect people to pay for you, if anything buy your friend a couple drinks

Answer 5

It depends on the what the person wants. I would normally pay for a group, if invite everyone. Mind you, I grew up that way. However, when I was in college & went out more, my friends & I would pay our own share for someone's bday & split the tab for the bday celebrant.

If this is a friend, just be respectfully honest with her of your financial situation. I am sure she will be more than understanding.

Answer 6

Short answer: If someone invites you, THEY pay. If you invite someone, YOU pay.

Answer 7

I have been to many parties, some where the host paid and some where each paid his or her own share. Usually, it's made clear when the invitation is given. If not, one can always ask. Or just say, I'm sorry, I'm between windfalls and have to use my cash for other expenses. That way, your host can offer to pay if desired. And she would know why you couldn't make it. I know it's embarrassing, but I usually just let people know I have to wait for my next check before I can spend money on recreation. They'll understand.

Answer 8

each person should pay for themselves...sometimes the guests even pay for the celebrant