Question:
Do you send cards to people for birthdays and Christmas when they never send you one?
1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Do you send cards to people for birthdays and Christmas when they never send you one?
Eighteen answers:
delyghtful
2008-02-05 20:09:39 UTC
I send cards to people to whom I want to send cards. If you want to send the cards....then do it. If you do not want to send a card to someone, then don't do it. I get good feelings for doing nice things and never keep a balance sheet of duties. Then when something comes back to me, I am surprised by joy and not by some obligation. It feels better. :0)
Some Guy
2008-02-06 00:30:47 UTC
I get your frustration. For birthday I send cards if the mood strikes me. Otherwise I don't worry about it. I definitely send a card if they've sent me one, but otherwise I just play it by ear. For Christmas I keep a list of those I send cards to and I evaluate that list each year. If I haven't gotten a card from them for 3 years then I remove them unless there are other circumstances that I know might keep them from sending cards or if I'm just especially fond of them. Best Wishes!! (and congratulations on your 1st and 2nd baby!) :)
Heidi Anne
2008-02-05 21:13:57 UTC
I still send the cards because it makes me feel better because I know that someone will get a fun cute card for whatever occasion, I put stickers in it and stuff. I ALWAYS get them back from my grandma but other than that I dont always get them back, it kinda hurts because I am sensitive but I know people are busy..it still hurts though.

I'm sorry people didnt send as many for your second baby, it would make me sad because I would think they only cared about the 1st baby and the 2nd isnt special. I get how you are feeling. I am not sure they would notice if you stopped sending them or not because I dont know the people but I say send them if YOU WANT TO....since the action is not being returned its up to you, But like I said I still do it because it makes me feel better
2008-02-05 20:13:27 UTC
I always send cards for any occasions, but I never get a card or a phone call back. The way I think is I am doing my part by letting my family and friends in mind at all times. No, I don't think that they will notice.
?
2016-12-15 08:48:43 UTC
Send Cards
Tad Dubious
2015-12-15 10:06:22 UTC
Yes. The joy is in the giving.
2008-02-06 03:52:53 UTC
I do care if I send and they don't. I don't send to anyone anymore. If someone sends me, I will reciprocate. End of story.
cardinalkv
2008-02-05 20:31:59 UTC
If you enjoy sending them,do so,when you decide to do this nice gesture

it should not have strings attached,meaning who cares if they send ones back,it is not about that.And some people are not organized enough to even get the cards to begin with,myself being one of them,I think it is great when I get cards,I really try to do the same,but for some reason,I

could even have them all written out and do not even send them.I don"t mean to be like this,but I am.
Gardener for God(dmd)
2008-02-05 20:11:36 UTC
I get cards from people faithfully every year.



I never get around to sending mine out. I have even gone as far as addressing them all, something always stumbles me. I feel bad, but ........... Wish I could get them out at least once.
bbb
2008-02-05 20:42:20 UTC
I love greeting cards. When I go to the mall, I like to stop at Hallmark and look at cards and when I go to Target, I like to stop at the greeting card section. I love looking at cards because they are small pieces of art and I have fun sending them. It annoys my husband a little (hehe) when I look at cards, so I tell him to go elsewhere. The hardest thing I learned is just because I send them, that doesn't mean the recipients will reciprocate. But I still send cards because I love to send them (paper cards and e-cards). I do it for satisfaction for myself. I tell myself that I'm the better person. Some people are too lazy to send them or just don't know how to write, they don't care or don't think about it. Alot of them prefer emailing their 1 sentence wishes. I've sent christmas cards to a lot of relatives (and some of my old friends) but many of them never reciprocate for years. So I question to myself, if they still existed or moved (if I don't receive a return to sender).

When I send birthday cards, I would send them to people I associate with most (like in-laws, parents, siblings, grandparents, some cousins and 1 friend). Some of the people I send birthday cards to, also do not reciprocate. At least my mom, sister, 1 cousin, and my only friend sends me birthday card. My sister in laws do not send me birthday cards, they remembered a couple times over the years and sent me a wish via email but after that, they don't send me email greetings anymore. When they do remember, they like to send a email greeting, they will only acknowlege my son's and my husbands (their brother). This hurts because I am part of the family.

It's just my mother in law who remembers the most (with the help of the calendar I gave her which listed everyone's birthdates and anniversaries). She sends e-cards, postcards, and one time she sent me a floral bouquet. There were some years were my mother in law never sent me a birthday card. My parents in law and one of my sister in law live in France and the other sister in law lives in New Caledonia (french island).

When I gave birth to my son when we lived in NJ for just a year (and didn't know anyone) we sent birth announcements to everyone and only my mom/sisters sent us congratulation cards, money, as well as a big box of baby things. My in-laws just sent their congrats via email. I didn't receive no paper cards or gifts or nothing from them.

Even though they don't send me anything, I still send them some paper cards, write email, and sometimes even gifts (for special occasion).

So I say if you gonna send paper cards and e-cards, do it for you (even though some don't reciprocate). Be the better person because you are more educated than some people.



Edit: If I had stopped sending cards or email to people, I don't think they would care.
Mother Amethyst
2008-02-05 20:25:58 UTC
I am someone who has certain friends and relatives who routinely send me cards, and I don't send cards back. I have health and financial problems and I'm not really able to send cards. I do try to let them know in different ways how much I value them, and I get great enjoyment from the cards they send me.



So whether you should stop sending to people who don't send you cards back, depends on why you are doing it. If it's to give pleasure to the recipients, just ask them if you should continue. And remember to be alert to other ways they may express their love for you or their gratitude rather than sending a card to you.



And sometimes I love someone and think of them often, even if I don't send a card or get a chance to do something for them.
Cheryl
2016-05-05 05:11:16 UTC
I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and because of that I cannot get things off my mind. When I send a card to someone and hear nothing back, it gets on my mind and the thought comes back and back to upset me and frankly make me sadly angry. I sent a card to a friend whose birthday is right near mind (and she knows that), I neither received a thank-you nor a birthday card.
Love
2008-02-05 23:16:41 UTC
Proper etiquette thats what it is. Giving a card just shows I care enough to Stop my life and HAND write my love ones a letter of congrats, hope you get better, wishful or thanks.



Don't feel bad, sometimes people get B.U.S.Y. ( being under satan yoke). Or even some don't have money. Some just forget, people forget alot.



You know money is not an issue.



You keep sending them, don't let some minor things stop you from doing kind deeds.



I personally love getting cards especially hand written ones with details.



They will notice, trust me. They might not come knocking on your door, but it will dwell in them, how long depends on each individual.



So keep on writing and no more fighting (within you).

God bless you all.
Rachel L
2015-04-01 23:22:50 UTC
Some people don't send you cards, because honestly, they aren't as nice as you are. My friends and I, are tired of sending this one person cards, because she never says anything about it. She is only on FB during her birthday, because she wants to be noticed.



I think she looks down on us, because we are nice, and I'm sick of it.
?
2013-11-08 08:20:25 UTC
Isn't it very rude if someone sends a birthday card and the recipient doesn't acknowledge receiving it? I don't think I'm going to send cards out anymore. I can't believe how rude people are.
2008-02-05 22:39:38 UTC
I think your attitude about this is wrong, and hurting only yourself. I give cards to those whom I please to, and on occasions I decide worthy. It makes absolutely not one iota of difference whether I receive one back, or a thank you (unlike a gift, and I DO expect a thank you for those).

As far as Christmas cards, we used to send approximately 200 a year. I have stopped. I see spending $200 a year for cards and postage as STUPID. That money goes to a far better use in helping people have FOOD ON THEIR TABLE. I now take a special Christmas picture and send out through email. Sometimes with a note, sometimes a generic Christmas wish.

I pay NO attention in who sent back to me, or even in many cases who sent first, or even multiple notes. I respond to all letter and questions, but this being overly concerned and "disrespected" over something SO DUMB as cards is a total waste of time and demeaning to you as a human being.



GET OVER IT. There's more to life than trying to be the martyr over every little detail of life. Women love to do this and it holds them back!!
Sunny-USA
2008-02-05 20:26:59 UTC
I think you're too sensitive.

You actually paid attention to how many cards you got for baby #2 versus baby #1?

I send them every year. Some send back, some don't. No biggy. I know I let them know their in MY thoughts.

If you don't want to send them out, don't.

But you shouldn't think because you do that they are obligated to back.
sixoneurdun
2008-02-05 20:50:04 UTC
it's sad but many ppl don't write anymore



it's email or phone calls.



we only send Christmas cards to family and ppl that send us one.



just stop sending them to ppl that don't acknowledge your time and effort.



give the bday card ppl one more chance but next year just send less Xmas cards and see who notices.


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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