Do you think restaurant servers should show etiquette?

Question

I noticed that when I go to mid-cost restaurants.. say 30$ for entree, the servers don't use oldschool etiquette. Last night I was some place and noticed the servers just reached across the table to grab dirty plates, let alone serving on the right side, taking away on the left side.
This kind of bugs me and but no one else seems to mind, let alone notice. Do you think this is a bad trend and what is the reason for it?

Answer 1

No one makes the rules. As long as they are polite and friendly, leave them alone you aren't the Queen.

Answer 2

$30 for an entree?



Over here an entree would be the starter ... but in the states it's the main course?



Anyway, I would be more concerned about the manners of the person serving. If a waiter / waitress is nice and pleasant, and the food decent, i have no problem if they don't show proper etiquette. It would be nice if they did, but i don't consider that the most important part of the dining experience.



The reason for it? Well, obviously the management aren't training in the staff at all. If people aren't too used to eating in restaurants they might not know the proper etiquette. Which is fair enough, but it is up to the management to train their staff.



"Edit: Colm, yes, in the US that is the main course. I don't know why either. English here is different than English everywhere else. You know they call their trousers "pants" here?"



Edit: I have to admit ... I'm one of those few irish people who calls their trousers' "pants" too! Must've picked that up from watching too much Cosby show or some such.



Usually it means underpants here.

Answer 3

For all decent restaurants, proper server etiquette should be covered as part of initial training. The lack of it is due to poor training or a bad server. I do not know if it is a trend, but with the economy woes, perhaps there are some newer servers out there that have not yet embraced or learned the proper techniques and etiquette. If they are otherwise polite and efficient, I would look past some minor transgressions if they are not repeat performances.

Answer 4

It's usually due to a server's lack of knowledge, than refusal to do something. Some places don't train methods like that, some places (like where I work) although we serve on the right and clear on the left there are a few tables where it's geographically impossible to follow that rule. Other places train servers to clear plates as soon as the guest is finished regardless if the other guests are finished. Also some places consider serving women first to be passé.

As much as servers need to be trained on rules of etiquette, so do diners. I rarely have guests who put their silverware on their plate at 4:00 when they are finished. Most people will "hold on" to used silverware rather than letting me bring them clean ones. Some walk into a restaurant and bustle right past a host to get a table of their choosing.



I think most Americans could use a refresher course in American restaurant etiquette both servers and diners.

Answer 5

That is a sign of either a new server who doesn't have it down yet or simply poor training. Trust me, in our restaurant if we had seen or heard of one of our servers doing such a thing we'd immediately retrain them and might have even buddied them up with a more experienced server until they got things right.



The best thing you can do is to discreetly alert management, perhaps after you've left. No need to embarrass the server (not that I think you'd do anything so crass as that) as the poor thing might simply be unaware and the victim of lax training standards. It is important for the maître d' or head server to be aware that the dining public does indeed notice when those standard niceties are not observed so they can correct the situation.



Edit: Colm, yes, in the US that is the main course. I don't know why either. English here is different than English everywhere else. You know they call their trousers "pants" here?

Answer 6

Etiquette varies little in an area, and there is no etiquette council that delineates who must follow it, we assume that everyone is to follow the local etiquette, otherwise it wouldn't work.



What that server did, interrupt the meal to grab things off the table, is actually less intrusive than butting into the conversation with the lines they're trained to use (though a quiet "excuse me madam" is preferred): "Can I get'cha any MegaMonster Cheesecake or Super Strawberry Daiquiris to finish up with? Anyone save room for dessert? Okay, well, how would you like the check divided? I'll be RIIIIGHT back with that!!"



I prefer the quiet clearing of the table.

Answer 7

If it is the same person all the time, maybe he/she is writing it off as a business expense. Or they are being generous, or whatever. You can get around this by discreetly telling the server to give you a separate bill for your meal. You can approach the person in private and let them know you are uncomfortable in this situation. Finally you could also just sit back and enjoy the free meals.

Answer 8

Most of these places don't train their servers in old school etiquette. Most of these places just hire any warm body that will actually show up to work. I don't mind any of it, they work hard for not much money. As long as they are pleasant and don't screw up my order, that's enough.

Answer 9

30 dollars an entree? Mid-cost? That is high cost not mid. Share the wealth.

Answer 10

No. They're poor. I'm the white Larry Bird. Oh say can you seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.