How are you supposed to respond when people ask you if they're fat?

Question

The thing is, I don't really think there's anything inherently wrong with being fat as long as there's no health problems being caused by it, especially if by "fat" you mean "not quite as ridiculously rail-thin as women on magazine covers."

However, if I say "I don't think there's anything wrong with being fat" people get all upset because you didn't deny that they're fat and don't listen to what you're saying.

If I say "no, you're not fat" then I'm validating the view that being fat is bad.

And if I give a big monologue about how evil the diet industry is and how people should accept their bodies the way they are rather than chasing unattainable standards of beauty, people just give me a blank stare.

Usually it's people way skinnier than me asking this which I find very confusing, although if it's an actual fat person asking it's bad too because I'm terrible at lying!

So what is a good, short response to give to this question?

Answer 1

"Do you think you're fat?" That's what you should say. Then if they continue, "If you're unhappy with yourself do something about it." Then if they say "I want to be like 'so and so'" you say, " but you're so much better at being you."

Answer 2

I think you have the right, and probably the obligation to yourself to come up with an answer that gets you off the hook. I think it is extremely rude for people to ask this question in the first place who do not want a 100% honest answer, which is exactly what they'd get from me, and they know it: "Yes, and you damn well know you are so why are you asking me this question? So I can lie to you? Well, you know me better than that dear".



But for you, something along the lines of "I don't look at too fat or too thin and I'm not qualified to make that type of judgment, and neither do I WANT to make that type of judgment to my friends."

Answer 3

I generally just don't acknowledge the part of the question about fat and instead tell them how I think they look without describing their weight. Something like "you look fine" or "you look really healthy". If someone really fat asks you and you aren't good at lying, answer without the word "fat" and be sure to add good things. Something like "well, I guess you could lose some weight, but your boobs are huge!" or "sure you would lose weight, but I think you look fine how you are. If you're comfortable and healthy that's all that matters."



When you talk to people about weight if you don't want to rant, just tack on some comment about health and how they feel about themselves being the only important things.

Answer 4

People who really are fat don't ever ask me if I think they're fat. That's because they already know they're fat. They don't need me to tell them the obvious, and besides, I'm sure they'd rather not discuss it.



People who ask "do you think I'm fat?" probably think that they're not fat -- and they're just looking for another person to validate their self-opinion.



If someone asks me, I usually respond with something about their weight relative to their height, their body-mass index, and so on ... that's because I'm a certified personal trainer.

.

Answer 5

I hate it when fat people ask me if I think they're fat. There really isn't any good answer. If you tell them any variation of "no," then they know you're not telling the truth. If you tell them any variation of "yes" or "I like you how you are," then they know you're avoiding completely telling the truth.



It's a lose-lose situation.

Answer 6

I learned the following from a priest;



"what makes you think that?"

and delve DEEP into this conversation



hehe, a very nice way to move away from dangerous territory. The priest said that people usually may that because someone else mentioned something about their weight.

Answer 7

Just tell them you think they are absolutely perfect as they are. If they are a little chubby, add in 'If you're so worried about putting on weight, come jogging with me!'

Answer 8

Honestly. I am unrepentantly blunt, so I'd answer with a direct, factual response. I do not do this to be mean or cute. It's who I am. That's why no one who knows me would normally ever ask this question to me. If you want to be coddled, move along, please.

Answer 9

best answer is no. But if someone is actually fat you should warn them about the health risks of being fat.

Answer 10

Just say they are pleasingly plump.

Answer 11

I responded once..."you mean somebody has to tell you?"