Why do people at work laugh at jokes they don't like with coworkers then go run tell the boss?

Question

This happened at work the other day, when some of the guys at the warehouse were telling some funny "know how I know you're gay?" jokes. then the next day the boss comes in saying someone complained. Some guys and I commented that we didn't mean to offend anyone, and if they had spoken up when we were all together, we would've stopped right there, but they didn't. We had also mentioned that EVERYONE was laughing, no one was visibly upset so actually whomever spoke up to the boss was lying to our faces the other day, and should be reprimanded.

Shouldn't people speak up when they are upset at social functions and especially work, considering everyone has to work as a team?

Answer 1

I agree with the others. You can't expect people to stand up in front of a group of their workmates and say that a gay joke is offensive.



I mean, come on. You know very well that if someone had done that, he would get a hard time from everyone else.



Maybe there's someone at your work who is gay and is struggling with it?



You may have thought those jokes were harmless, but imagine if you were gay and had dealt with discrimination all your life. Or if you were too scared to come out because of a conservative family. How would those jokes strike you then?



We all love telling inappropriate jokes sometimes. But work isn't the place to do it. Wait until you're among a few close friends.



Sometimes people are too sensitive. But in this case, I think whoever complained did the right thing. You shouldn't be doing anything at work that makes anyone feel like they're not part of the group. And telling jokes that could be interpreted as hostile to gay people is doing that.

Answer 2

First of all it is "whoever" not whomever.



Yes people should speak up when they feel upset by rude jokes or course language but then they often end up being cut out of the herd and eventually being bullied or picked on for being sensitive. When it comes to sexual harassment if someone is harassing you personally it is that persons responsibility to tell the person doing the harassing that they are wrong and they need to stop but when it is a community of people causing an unfriendly or uncomfortable working environment then the person is right to go the supervisor and talk to them.



Yes people will laugh along so as to hide their true feeling because they are afraid that if they go against the group mentality they will be bullied and become the center of negative attention.



You should ask yourself why are you angry with the person who complained? They did nothing wrong, the wrong was committed by the person or persons telling the jokes that is where the blame should be placed, if they had not told inappropriate jokes there would not have been a fuss.



If you are really concerned about working together as a team then you should not be making jokes about other peoples personal lives, beliefs, race, sexual identity gender, hair color because you don't want to risk hurting someone's feelings.

Answer 3

I personally feel like the person who was offended should have said something to the group first.......but not everyone is like that. That person probably felt intimidated or uncomfortable. Maybe the person felt the group would make fun of him/her if they spoke up so they played along. But it is certainly within their right to talk to the manager if they choose to. This could have easily turned into a sexual harassment case if the person would have went to HR directly. Be careful when joking around...you never know who's listening and it could cost you your job.

Answer 4

They don't want to go against the flow, John. They want to be part of the team. However, offensive jokes are going to get you in trouble sooner or later these days. It's a good idea to widen you comic style - maybe kick it old school with some knock-knock and elephant jokes.

Answer 5

I would have thought that was hilarious...but you can't say any 'gay' crap anymore because it spins people into a mental depression that a beach ball sized zoloft can't fix. You say one 'gay' joke and you're automatically satan...and should be shunned....and ashamed....and be made to lose your job. Then they are soooo hurt over it they need years of therapy and counseling....blah blah blah. It's ridiculous. Whatever idiot it was (that belongs in the description above), that felt the need to go run away like an infant female unicorn to rat you all out for the horrible, horrible crime you all committed against humanity should really grow up a little and realize ---- 'sticks-and-stones'.



However.....having said that. I don't believe anyone is going to interrupt a group of people in the midst of any kind of boisterous kinda stuff...like telling jokes...and say 'hey, that offends me'. For one thing, even if they aren't gay, they run the risk of piѕѕing someone off and getting an enemy, or they run the risk of being ostracized from the group....they run the risk of adding to a potentially toxic workplace.....and so on. You just don't do it. So....I find it highly unlikely that you would have all just smiled and stopped the joke-telling if this flutter-bug had spoken up while you were all there laughing and telling jokes. And as for the 'everyone laughing' thing....no one wants to stand out, or draw attention to themselves...c'mon now.....think man.



So, while I think you should all be allowed to tell jokes especially in a warehouse.....people need to know they aren't in playschool...they are in an environment where stuff like that is going on, and if their delicate constitution can't handle it....then they need to go elsewhere. THEY have to fit in, or tolerate...or STFU. But they aren't going to draw attention to themselves by speaking up in a group for fear of some kind of unnecessary retaliation.

Answer 6

No John, you and your mates were wrong. Regardless of the jokes were about, you're at work to work, not joke around.



That's why it's called "going to work" and not "going to hang out with my friends."

Answer 7

The best thing to remember is, never tell controversial jokes at work, you never know who will take offense, plus, it is totally inappropriate.

Answer 8

Wrong. The person telling nasty, offensive jokes should be reprimanded.