Dillema in etiquette.?

Question

I was hinting that I was getting impatient with a story that was taking far longer than it should have.

With body language and facial expressions and going towards the door.

The person telling me the story didn't even care and kept telling it.

When I asked her if she had been able to tell I wanted to go she said yes.

Then she got mad at me, really mad.

So tell me, which is the wrong thing in etiquette.

Not taking someones hint, or hinting in the first place?

Now i was willing to listen to her to be polite but she refused to condense the story and make it shorter which was all I really wanted.

She's one of those people that keeps getting to the "end" and then adding on something else, and then adding onto that.

So you really never know when it's going to end!

Now I'm in trouble with her.

Seems unfair.

Answer 1

next time say that you really need to get going and can they get to the dilemma part of the story or sum it up.

some people don't get body language hints without it being spelled out for them.

Answer 2

Did this person already know that you were planning on leaving in a few minutes? Or did you suddenly decide to leave when you realized you had grown weary of this person?



If you had already said you had to leave at nine, and started checking your watch every minute or so starting at 9:56, then acted correctly in gently reminding this person that your stated time of departure was approaching. If you are thinking that expressing your boredom while someone is telling story is justified on the grounds that the story wasn't very interesting to you or on the grounds that you used body language instead of actual words, then you are thinking wrong. It is never polite to indicate to someone "Hey, you're boring!" That the person may, in fact, be boring doesn't make it any less impolite to express this thought.



If this is a person you want to have a closer relationship with, then you two need to work out some 'silent signal' that lets you tell her "You are drifting here, and need to wrap up the loose ends and come to your conclusion or we will be here all night" without saying "Gosh, I'm bored to sobs with this endless yammering." If this is a person you have no interest in growing closer with, then make sure this person knows in advance that the conversation will have be short. Or avoid the motor mouth.

Answer 3

If you had to be somewhere and were heading out the door, why not simply apologize that you are running short of time and couldn't chat too long? Maybe just be honest with her and say that you don't mind listening to her stories, but it would be helpful if she learned to get to the point quicker as her lengthy stories consume too much time to enjoy them.



I get that you didn't want to be rude and decided to give the subtle hints with the body language, etc., but obviously this method does not work with this particular person (maybe on someone else), so now that you know this, you can adjust your behaviour with her.



For now, be the bigger person and apologize if you've offended or hurt her and see if she offers her own apology too. If not, oh well. There's nothing you can do about that, but at least you've cleared your conscience and said sorry to her. Then move on with life.



Remember...we can't change others or control what happens, we can only change ourselves and our reactions to what life throws at us.

Answer 4

Wow. All those reviews make me completely happy I do not move out to state parks too frequently! When I path trip it is mainly at the trails owned by means of my using teacher. The worst factor we see there are snowmobiles in a neighboring area within the wintry weather, and the neighbor going for walks his puppies (who're very good behaved and do not even appear on the horses). My teacher's puppies frequently comply with us at the trails and regularly the horses spook at them, however most likely they're satisfactory. The couple of instances I have long past out to state parks, I observed that the bikers have been the most important drawback. They did not appear to notice that a few horses appear on the motorcycle and believe 'horse-consuming-monster' and freak out - they usually might simply trip by means of and now not do some thing while the pony rears or dollars or takes to the air, and so forth. The parks round right here do not permit motorized automobiles at the trails and all puppies have got to be on leashes (there are established patrols going for walks round on all of the trails). The handiest time I've ever witnessed an ''twist of fate'' (on the grounds that I've by no means been bucked, and so forth. at a state park) used to be while my aunt and grandma's horses spooked on account that of a racoon. lol. They each fell off. The horses ran. They limped to trap them whilst we walked in the back of and laughed. =] (They have been ok!) By the best way, me and my cousin have been going for walks my aunt's puppies in the back of the horses.

Answer 5

Boring someone to death without taking the hint is rude. Informing somebody that they are boring you is rude.



Both of you need to study up on some Miss Manners. She needs to learn how to conduct a proper conversation and you need to learn how to get friends who know to rescue you politely from such a tale.



This was your MOTHER???? Okay, different rules definitely apply with family, you are supposed to be MORE POLITE, not less, since presumably you care MORE about your family than total strangers.



With one's loved ones, you grant the benefit of the doubt. With one's elders, you NEVER correct them so bluntly and you never never never make them feel stupid and embarrass them. Just think of all the times she was kind and understanding when YOU did silly things that she knew were incorrect.



If you must say anything, then you say "supposedly" very clearly when YOU use it. otherwise, keep your corrections to yourself.

Answer 6

That's my old lady, bless her heart. And when she finally does get to the end, it's unclear what the heck she was going on about, so she starts from the beginning again! I just walk out the door...She'll still be talking when I get back.