Kids' birthday party at a restaurant...who pays?

Question

I've been planning a birthday party for my son who is turning one. I've always had in my mind that I wanted a kids/adults party. I've sent out the invitations, which state that the party will be at a local restaurant--address, time, etc.--the usuals. I have invited 15 kids, and 25 adults. Most of the attendees will be family; close family, at that.

My husband and I want to pay for everyone's meal (it's at lunchtime). The restaurant gave us a good deal on the prices of the meals. I've printed up menus, with select items, which does not include any alcoholic beverages, so as to keep costs down. I just think it's "redneck" and impolite to invite people to a party and not provide food/drinks. That's just me. But, in the small community in which I live, people are used to paying for their own food at get-togethers. I just don't like that idea. It would be all the same if I had had the food catered, or had a pizza party--I would've paid for it myself.

Now, my in-laws are speaking out about how it's going to be too much money, people don't expect it, etc. etc. My mom thinks it's bad etiquette NOT to pay for the food--more or less to avoid embarrassment, or if someone shows up without money. (We have two close family friends, who are our housekeepers; I know they are poor, and I would not want them to pay for food, anyway--not that they would show up without money, though.)

Also, my mother-in-law is freaking out about drinking alcohol in front of the kids at the party--if anyone so chooses. I've always had the idea that I'm not going to be close-minded with my child, and that if I have a drink or two in front of him, its no big deal. Our family, on both sides, has drank at every family function we've ever had...I really don't see the big deal. If I want a Margarita at my son's party, I don't see what's wrong with that.

Any advice I could get--on either issue--would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

You invite people, you pay, that is what the term guests means; as to alcohol, surely you can refrain from drinking booze for one lunch time party for your child, that would be totally inappropriate.

Answer 2

Personally I don't think there would be anything wrong with expecting people to buy their own food. If I am invited to a birthday party at a restaurant I don't assume my meal will be paid for. Then again I don't think there's anything wrong with you footing the bill since you obviously want to. Your MIL shouldn't be concerned with how much it's costing you and your husband, whether it's expected or not. So I would disregard that, tell her that's what you want to do (or better yet have your husband tell her).



I agree with you about having a drink or two in front of your kids at a family/social function. Not a big deal to me either. But at the kid's birthday party??? Eh, I don't think so. I mean, it's at lunchtime for one thing. And it's not like this is Aunt Rita's birthday party or a anniversary or holiday, it's your baby's first birthday. Granted he won't know the difference but it's the principle and I'm no prude or anything. To be honest I think it would be a bit tacky and inappropriate. And I know you say you are close to everyone who will be there but what if there's an older child who notices the drinking and maybe his/her parent's don't appreciate it? Just not the time or place for me, not worth it.

Answer 3

First of all, it is no business of your in-laws if you pay for the guest's lunches. It is your party, not theirs.



When everyone is seated, I'd just announce that the lunch is your treat, and pass out the special menus.



But beyond that, I think that it is a little silly to have a birthday party for a one year old that is that elaborate. He won't know what is going on, nor will he remember it. To me, it just looks like a plea for gifts. But it is all set, so go ahead and have a good time with or without the drinks. Personally, I don't see why anyone has to drink at noon, but if it is only a drink or two, I doubt anyone will get out of hand.



I think your in-laws need to mind their own business!

Answer 4

I think you are right on track. Its one thing to invite a guest (or in this case many guests) to eat at your home where you would obviously buy the food from a store to prepare it. So the only difference here is the fact that you are all at a restaurant. I think it would be beneficial to let everyone know that you and your husband want to do something special for everyone by treating them to lunch in honor of your child's birthday. Now, if they refuse then that is their option, however let it be known that you have this prearranged with the restaurant already. As for alcoholic beverages, I don't see the harm in enjoying a libation at such a gathering so long as it is done respectfully and that no one gets out of control, drunk, or too rowdy in front of the children.

Answer 5

i wager it relies upon on what you'll call a "enormous bash." My sister and that i have been both allowed pizza and cake at chuck e cheese on each and every occasion we needed, now that we are older we are allowed to have a celebration even though it relies upon on how the funds are going that month in words of ways enormous it will be. when I grew to grow to be like 14 i ended fairly having events and in basic terms have one or 2 friends over for cake or swimming--18 and 19 I in undemanding words invited my boyfriend over to rejoice, my sister is 16 and he or she had a slew of girls come over yet they in basic terms ate cupcakes and watched video clips. when we were youthful, easily there grow to be adequate time between March and July that we may no longer have remembered that one youngster were given to bypass to chuck e cheese and the different didnt, yet otherwise i'd be careful reckoning on how birthdays are considered on your spouse and children. In my relatives the birthday grow to be continuously "your special occasion," and up till a particular age i'd have had a not elementary time information why i did not get to do some thing relaxing at the same time as my sister did if i spotted. it truly is not elementary to describe funds to a 5 year old. yet they fairly may no longer even observe, it relies upon on your spouse and children.