My colleague treats me nastily. What can I do?

Question

She is a middle-aged grumpy rude woman. She talks in a harsh rude, raised-voice tone to most of our colleagues when she disapproves of what they are doing in work.
The 1st time I encountered her mistreatment was when she asked me if I had the transporter, and me replying with a question of whether she wanted the transporter to room 1, because she needed to go there. Then I didn't know that the transporters could go to all rooms. She just responded by frowning and rolling her eyes and looking away and seemingly slightly pissed, instead of replying me.
The 2nd rude encounter was when I made a mistake, the first mistake of its kind due to lack of experience in my work. She was at first still speaking in a tone that I was still able to tolerate, but she kept talking and nagging and then when she was about to leave the room she just scolded me harshly and fiercely, with a loud and harsh tone. I didn't hear exactly what she said because I auto-tuned my ears to ignore her words, but I know it was loud and harsh.

Firstly, she is not in any higher ranking than mine. She and me are of the same level. But she acts as though she is higher than others in the way she always wants to correct others and getting angry in the process. Even the people who are above me aren't as nasty.

So I need advice on what to do before I suffer from a health collapse due to internalizing the anger stemned from injustice. I really resent her. I want to change her. But how? Or should I change instead?

Answer 1

Report her human resources. She can't mistreat coworkers or customers.

Answer 2

FIRST - Is she in a superior position that she thinks she has the right to act the way she does with other workers? or is she a starter herself?



Ok, later on you add that she is not in a 'higher rank'. That, right there, means she has NO RIGHT to act the way she is (not that any supervisor or manager should do so, either). If she is evidently acting repulsively and everyone feels the same, EVERYONE should get together and complain to the manager or supervisor in person. Being middle-aged is not an excuse to act like a junk. If she has life problems, she doesn't have to work with anyone else and ruin their day, too. Negative people spread negaitvely.



And what is STUPID is that you think you will 'suffer a HEALTH COLLAPSE' from one stupid person? And it's not like you're the only victim either? Why should YOU change if many workers are being treated in an ugly way by her? SHE must change! Get together, all of you and complain about her? In addition, are there not cameras that watch? Maybe her ugly expressions will be caught in camera.



Or all of you can directly speak to her as a group. The humiliation might be enough for her to shut her rubbish attitude.

Answer 3

You have every reason to resent the way she criticizes you, but you have to realize that you will get criticized when you make mistakes, especially if they're important ones.



My advice: When she starts going off on you, just politely interrupt to say, "I understand now. There's no need to yell at me, though. I'm new here, and I'm still learning the routine." It may take her a while to wind down, but you don't have to take her insults personally. They're more about her than they are about you. As another poster says, "Grow a thicker skin."



You write, "I feel like she is bullying me. I pity myself for feeling sad like a victim. I feel helpless and powerless. I am a girl after all, and I really need people to be respectful to me as I am to them. Many times I want to assert myself but I don't know how. I felt like getting aggressive but I am still on probation so I don't want any conflicts in case my boss doesn't want to hire me. Its really hard getting a job so I am going to stick with this job so I really can't lose it/get fired."



It sometimes comes as a rude shock to nice young girls who have always been treated kindly, that some people have very short fuses when it looks like mistakes are being made. Out in the wide world of work, respect is not always automatic. Generally it has to be earned. A reputation as a careless screw-up is hard to live down.



Well, she IS bullying you. But you'll have to handle this yourself, rather than run weeping to your supervisor. Assertiveness in the form of firm politeness would be fine. Aggressiveness would be overkill.

Answer 4

She's been like that all her life and she's not going to change. You just have to avoid her at all costs as much as you can. Learn your job from someone with the patience and knowledge to teach you properly. Don't let her get under your skin. And if you do have an encounter with her, calmly tell her what a mean, hateful person she is and that nobody likes her. Sometimes when people like that are hit in the face with the truth, they crumble. Believe it or not, sometimes they don't know they're that ugly.

Answer 5

You aren't ever going to change her, but you can put her in her place. If she becomes too intolerable then just politely but firmly tell her that her attitude is rude and you will not be putting up with it, and that if she chooses to keep up with the nasty attitude then you will be looking into what can be done about it from the management. That is all she really needs, to be told by someone that her bullying is not welcome. After That, just deal with her as little as possible to get the job done, and both of you go your separate ways.

Answer 6

there is something in the way you write that suggests that you irritate her in some way. could it be your attitude? sometimes, if people treat you badly, you need to look at your own behaviour. she may have sensed that you disliked her from the outset, and is acting hostile as a response. I know for a fact that many young men resent older women telling them what to do. so, look at that first. if you come out clean, then perhaps she's just not very nice by nature.

Answer 7

Just pray for her! You can't change the fact that she's nasty towards you. You just have to accept her. Just focus on your work. Don't let her take away your happiness. Don't let it consume you. Maybe you can change a lil' bit and if that doesnt stl work, then let her be like that and continue to work. Just ignore her. And remember to pray every morning. Pray that you wont be tempted to get angry to her. Thats it. Prayer works! Godbless u my dear!

Answer 8

what is transporter? and as long as u live and work there will be rude people, so u should grow a thicker skin. also if u continue making mistakes they will sack u. so instead of being so brazen u should have apologized for your mistake

Answer 9

give her some of her own medicine