What is inappropriate to discuss on a date?

Question

Tonight I am going out to dinner with a guy I like. I've met up with him a couple of times before, but this is the first time I'll be 'going out' instead of 'meeting up' with him.

Sex, religion and politics are 3 of my favourite topics, and I was wondering if it would be ok to bring them up in conversation since it's just the two of us on a date, or does normal etiqutte about not discussing those subjects apply?

If so, are there related subjects that would be ok to bring up, and what are they?

What about asking about his previous relationships?

Are there any other subjects that are taboo to discuss on a date?

What about chair pulling, if I'm the first one at the table, do I pull his chair out for him? I know that's how it works for opening doors, and thought it might be the same.

Please help, I've never been on a real date before and don't know all the etiquette!

Answer 1

You can discuss sex, religion, and politics - but remember if the date disagrees with you on any issues, don't get all defensive and try to sway the person to your POV, and in return the date should do the same. Also remember that SOME people are too embarrassed to talk about sex issues - even if they are innocent issues. I find this annoying - and find that some men are ******* when it comes to discussing anything remotely related to sex.



Don't ask about previous relationships. If you talk about your own previous relationships, keep it very general such as "I dated a person who thought it was inappropriate for a women to curse." , for example. Don't get into names and how he or she broke your heart etc..



I also find that some people are uncomfortable talking about their jobs because they are not doing what they think they should be doing. That said, I'd let the date bring up his or her job on their own.



If you're at the table and he shows up let him pull up his own chair. But if you are going out the door you can hold it for him. This is just how I would operate.



I hate dating. Yet, it's high time I had one 'cuz I've been too isolated lately. People are too touchy and annoying at first. It is hard to get past that initial phase where you feel you can be yourself.

My advice for the date is to be yourself BUT not too much yourself. We are all weirdos but the thing is to let your uniqueness and the good/weird things about you show slowly so the other person gets to see all your good points first without making assumptions about you that are not true. Then afterward slowly let them see your quirks. It's a difficult trick to master - how much to reveal at first. I've found that when I reveal innocent quirks about myself, some people tend to make snap judgements about this and this really pisses me off. For example, I'm vegetarian but not a zealot about it and I don't try to make non-veggies feel badly about what they eat. But even the mere mention of my vegetarianism has set people off - made them feel inadequate or something. Again, this annoys me.



As I said I hate dating because I find that I am too casual and have sent the message to my dates that I'm not interested in them which may or may not have been true.



Good luck and enjoy your date!!!

Answer 2

Almost everything you mentioned should not be discussed on the first date (or the first few dates). Don't discuss any of those things. Also do NOT pull out his chair for him. Also I don't know why you think the first one at the door opens it for the other. NO! NO! NO! The man ALWAYS opens the door for the lady! Do not EVER open a door for a man.

Ask him about things that he likes to do. Think about things that are happening in the world today and pick some topics you think are interesting to discuss with him. You could ask about what TV, movies he likes. Have a whole mental list of topics to discuss. Hopefully you can get him started talking about himself.

And remember, let him do things for you, not the other way around. Start off being treated as a lady with respect. Because if you don't you can't have it later on. (It's also a good idea to let him open the car door for you also.)

Answer 3

It sounds as though you are being responsible and wanting to get to know about his background. That is a good idea. On the topic of sex, what you really need to know is whether or not he has an STD or whether he has been tested. The trouble is that this is extremely awkward, especially when you're just getting to know him. Instead, why don't you ask him if he's a member of CheckTonight.com. It's an online service that allows you to verify that your partner has tested negative- you can use your cell phone if you wish. This way you don't have to talk about STDs, you can just explain that it is an interesting new social networking site for people who have tested clean and want to stay that way.

Answer 4

On a first date, don't discuss past relationships. Find out if you have anything in common. I would forget about sex, religion, and politics the first date too.



What sports do you have in common? What foods do you both like? What music do you both like? What books or magazines do you both read?



No you don't pull out his chair for him. Let him treat you like a lady and open the doors and do the chair thing.

Answer 5

I disagree with almost all of the responses you've gotten.



Talk about anything you like! Whatever comes up,or whatever you bring up. However, be careful not to get in an argument.



Also, as far as pulling out the chair for the guy, this might be awkward for him and make him uncomfortable -- like he messed up or something, and you are making fun at him.



Have a great time!!

Answer 6

A date is like an interview. This is where you get to know the individual to find out of you are compatible. If you feel that you must discuss your favorite topics, do so rationally. Keep it well thought out, and remember that he might not necessarily enjoy those topics...and is responding to keep the conversation flowing. Don't pull his chair out for him...its just awkward (unless he has a broken leg or something of that nature). Chivalry is not dead...find out if he is the kind of guy who opens doors for you or not...(usually, he would open your car door for you if he was...).

Just remember, its like a job interview...obviously on a personal level. Also, act like yourself as you were on the previous times you went out with him, he obviously likes the person you are. Hope this helps!!

Answer 7

don't talk about sex...that's a little much. i'm sorry but you shouldn't talk about politics or religion either because you could seriously make him mad. If you say your a democrat (YAY!) and he's a republican that'll probably make him mad. religion could make him mad especially if you insult his. don't talk about past relationships unless he brings it up and if he does, don't mention about how it's your first real date.

As for your etiquette, it's manly for him to do it for you. but if he doesn't it's ok. make sure the door doesn't slam in his face, and if it doesn't you're all good.

Since you've met him before yu probably know what he likes so talk about that stuff. Be sure to say a funny story (not too long), because guys love that!

Answer 8

As everyone else has stated- just be yourself girl! Let him ask questions- and be a little mysterious- if you want a second date- the intrigue of your silence will definitely build his natural curiosity. That's not to say be boring- answer his questions and ask him the same but show a genuine interest in his response.Don't answer wit a lot of detail- this will prompt follow-up questions from- him and make him feel like he's in charge! And most of all have FUN!

Answer 9

Definitely don't discuss sex and don't ever ask about past relationships on a first date.

Answer 10

I would keep the conversation light, funny and safe. I would NOT bring up past relationships (yours or his), religion, sex or politics. Unless he starts the topic..I would stay away from those esp if you wanna a second date hehe..



things i would talk about:

1.music

2. movies

3. concerts

4. jobs/school

5. family

6. friends



hope this is helpful..

Answer 11

Talk about marriage, his income, health history and past girl friends. That should move the date right along. Just teasing, those are things to avoid. Talk about hobbies,sports, pets, light topics like that.

Answer 12

Be unique!!! Talk about the most random things or things that funny. I would talk about fun, interesting things. Ask him, "If you could have one super power what would it be?" You can have a long fun conversation out of just a simple question.

Answer 13

My advise is to be yourself. I don't mean to the negative aspect of yourself but the positive aspect of who you are. The negative should be saved for more solidifed relationships. Good luck.

Answer 14

If somebody asks approximately American relationship customs then they could desire to learn. you do no longer could desire to declare something that could desire to make you experience uncomfortable. basically answer their questions truthfully.

Answer 15

don't ask about past relationships.

Answer 16

tell him he's ugly! it works for me! =P