Am I handling this the right way?

Question

Me and this guy I know ended up fooling around. We were both single then so I didn't really see a problem with it although he was the first guy I'd been with so I didn't know how to handle the emotions I felt. He lives miles away so we'd meet up when he was in town.

About 7 months later he got back together with some ex girlfriend. It hurt me but I dealt with it. We still spoke and met up. After a month or so he started flirting with me and eventually we ended up sleeping together. I had strong feelings for him so I went along with it. This happened another 2 times until I told him I couldn't do it anymore. I removed him from Facebook and we didn't talk for a while.

Last year he got deployed to Afghanistan so I messaged him wishing him good luck and he messaged me back asking if I wanted to write to him. All the time he was out there were wrote letters to each other and met up when he was on leave. When he was on leave he took my top and bra off when we were alone and tried to go further (I know it was wrong) and said when he got back we would have more time next time.

He got back a few weeks ago. He text me last Friday night asking me if i wanted to get a drink but I didn't reply because I didn't get the message because I was asleep. The next day I look on Facebook and see that he'd been with his girlfriend choosing things for the house they're moving in to which I knew nothing about. At that moment I realised how unfair he'd been doing this to me and her and I text him saying I couldn't be "friends" anymore. He replied that he understood if that's what I wanted but he would prefer us to carry on being "friends" and could we meet up. I replied I couldn't. After that he removed me from Facebook and hasn't spoken to me. I gave him a chance to be honest with me and I asked him flat out what he really wants because I know it's not friendship. He still insisted that's what he wanted and that he wasn't after sex even though every time i've seen him we've either had sex or he's tried to get me to.

It's been 4 days since he removed me from Facebook and stopped talking to me. I know I told him I couldn't be his friend anymore and that it's for the best but I'm still hurt. I've deleted him from Skype and deleted his number. I'm staying off Facebook for a while too.

Answer 1

okay, you really did the right thing. but you did have feelings for the guy and you will have to untangle him from your emotions and let you brain and common sense take over. you will survive and be stronger for it.



you are growing up, and seeing the light girl. and you will be more careful in the future now that you have discerned who the users are and how they operate. he don't care about you or that other woman. those kind just care about having steady and handy relief for their tight little testes.



so when they get cut off they move on , that is a good thing . no more pressure to have sex then get left by the wayside till next time he is Horney.



you deserve Better . you are also handling this very well and are a bit too smart for this boy.so stand your ground and do not crumble. or bend.

Answer 2

YES you are handling it the right way. Do not let him string you along and do not help him cheat on his current girlfriend. It is a hard situation but you need to be strong. It sounds like you are doing a good job do far! Do not let him hurt you anymore or drag you into a lot of drama. That other girl has feelings too, being a woman yourself don't help him hurt her.

Answer 3

The right way would have been to not mess with him when he had a girlfriend.



Yes, having no contact and moving on with your life is the right thing to do. Why let him keep using you to cheat on someone he's lying to?

Answer 4

He wants a friend with benefits. If that's not for you then you're doing exactly the right thing.

Answer 5

? Cut off all contact with this douche.