Who pays for a restaurant baby shower?

Question

My best friend is pregnant and I'm in charge of her baby shower. About half of the guests (including mommy to be and myself) will be coming from out of town. None of the locals are willing/able to have the shower at their houses so my friend really wants to have the shower at a specific restaurant. At a restaurant wedding shower roughly the same group attended a few years ago everyone paid their own way. This would help me greatly as I'm already paying for a flight, hotel, car, gift, cake, goody bags, prizes etc, but it feels tacky to have people bring a gift and pay for lunch (and in some cases travel).

Who is responsible for the tab?

Answer 1

Regardless of how things were done in the past, you cannot do this. Etiquette demands that if you are hosting a party, you pay for it. It is extremely rude to charge a guest for the privilege of attending. If you cannot afford to throw the party that the mother to be wants, you must put your foot down and plan a party you can afford, or step down.



Don't be tacky just because other people are.

Answer 2

Since much of the same group has attended a restaurant baby shower in the past, they probably plan to pay their own way. If the invitations have not already gone out you might mention there will be separate checks "just to make it easier for everyone." If invitations are already out, how many attendees can you call? They might offer to pass the word to others.



Whatever you do, don't feel obligated to pay for everyone's lunch! If anyone should do that it would be the guest of honor who has chosen the restaurant.



Also, you might make it a 'surprise' shower and all show up at her house. Of course she would be in on the surprise.



Just some thoughts.....

Answer 3

This Site Might Help You.



RE:

Who pays for a restaurant baby shower?

My best friend is pregnant and I'm in charge of her baby shower. About half of the guests (including mommy to be and myself) will be coming from out of town. None of the locals are willing/able to have the shower at their houses so my friend really wants to have the shower at a specific...

Answer 4

Hm..good question.

It seems to me, in the occasion that people are being invited for an event such as a baby shower, the host or person having the baby is responsible for the bill. If you were to have it at your house, you wouldn't ask the guest to pay for the favors, decorations or food involved, right?



I think you should discuss this further with your best friend and see what she says. I'll admit, I have never been to a baby shower so maybe I'm wrong- I'm just thinking about traditional parties like engagement parties etc.

Answer 5

Who is responsible for the tab? The person(s) who is doing the INVITING. Guests are never expected to pay their way, although I do not understand how you are inviting people to the shower from such a distance as they need to FLY IN!!!



I realize this is NOT a wedding, but the rules for WHO pays for WHAT are SIMILAR. If you refer to the link below, it clearly shows that GUESTS, and wedding attendants pay for their OWN TRAVEL COSTS. While the actual accommodations (hotel, someone's home, whatever) expenses are covered by the bride's and groom's parents (respectively), they do NOT cover TRAVEL costs!



Therefore, I cannot understand WHY YOU are covering the baby shower guests TRAVEL (flight) costs. If these guests REALLY WANT to attend, THEY should be willing AND able to cover their OWN travel costs.



But as far as the restaurant costs goes, YOU, as the "hostess" are the one responsible for covering these costs.



Now, IF you were NOT paying for the airline flights, you would have PLENTY money to cover the restaurant costs.



I really don't know how you are going to resolve this one, especially if the travel arrangements and payments have already been made.



GOOD LUCK!





Have a polite day.

Answer 6

If you are in charge of the baby shower and she wants a certain restaurant find out how much it would cost for the lunch then yes, you will have to notify the guests that the lunch will cost X amount. It is OK to do this.

Answer 7

BAD IDEA - REALLY REALLY A BAD IDEA - because YOU are going to get stuck with one very expensive bill.



IF I WERE YOU, I would INSIST the party be AT YOURS OR HER HOUSE, or give the responsibility to her MOTHER.