Why am I so offensive or talked about?

Question

I am 26. I am good looking, fit body, outgoing, successful, married to a gorgeous wife.

I feel that since my success in business, I have gained a chip on my shoulder. I am easily irritated by people and in-experience. I commonly do things myself to get them done right.

90% of the time, I am over the top enthusiastic, and people ALWAYS laugh when around me. I frequently travel with my wife, and most of the time bring friends(couples) along. These are my close friends.


I dont have "many" friends, although I have a large amount of business friends and also acquaintances. Meeting people has never been an issue, I am always first to make new friends.

My biggest problem, is that I find people talk about me behind my back. I do what I can to always stay positive and say positive things.

I am always the life of the party, and when people are down I am always able to be positive and funny enough to change that mood.

I now question why some of my closest friends have begun to get on my nerves, and I push them away. I find that I dont want to spend any time with them, nor do I want them in my house.

I believe I am offending people by being
A) successful (but I never gloat, nor do I buy expensive things. I havnt even bought new clothes until this week on holidays in almost 4 years)
B) because I am knowledgeable and maybe should not give advise as much as I should just listen
C) because I am confident, and extremely outgoing, as well I poke and prod to find out what I want to know. I feel that I may intimidate people into not speaking there minds or being open with me anymore

I understand at 26 (my age) people begin to get married, and slow down. Seeing friends is not a top priority, but I seem to not have many friends older than me. I have been successful for 7 years, and have always had people older than me working for me. I always maintain a humble yet assertive attitude.

This is new for me, as I have never really had a problem with people, but just feel I am offensive or intimidating. I have never gone online to ask a question like this, but its bothering me.

When it comes to friends, I ALWAYS blow the positive things out of proportion but try to ignore negativity. Eg) if someone gets engaged, I go off for a while and make them feel happy. Im always aiming to please.

Any advise would be appreciated, and any personal experiences would be grand.

Answer 1

Many people who are successful in business are very good at not wasting time. They know how to get right to the heart of a situation, deal with it promptly, and move along with the rest of their day's activities. This habit becomes so much second nature to them, that they have trouble dropping down into a relaxed, friendly social mode. Every thought, word, and deed still has to have a purpose.



This mind-set, while valuable, does bother some people. An ambitious, on-the-go personality just reminds them that they too could accomplish great things if they would just get up off their rear ends.



I don't know whether to advise you to learn how and when to slow down and smell the roses, or keep up this driving type of behavior because it's your basic nature. Either way, once you've done some introspection about it, it's your decision.



I will say that some of the most highly respected senior executives in corporate America have had extremely fine social skills. Joseph Wilson of Xerox Corporation is still admired, even though he died many years ago.

Answer 2

[Edit: after I posted I found sohysterical had written almost the same thing at the same time with even the same terms. Think on :]



Sounds like you come across as a bit of a wanker to be honest...



Personally I can't stand people who are *always* outgoing and chipper. It just seems incredibly fake. I bet you have a loud voice and maybe even tap your feet when you're just standing around.



You always try and be positive and funny... most people like to moan about stuff and exchange sympathy... but the fun in that is other people agreeing and nodding sadly. People who give the impression they might think "uh-huh, I have a fantastic life myself but never mind" are just irritating then. Similarly, you're always doing something interesting or fun and most people are sitting around in their pants watching the TV.



"When people are down I am always able to be positive and funny enough to change that mood." That's a good thing in moderation. But if people are really miserable they want sympathy. Someone who says " ha-ha, never mind, let's have fun" can come over as insensitive.



"I am easily irritated by people and in-experience. I commonly do things myself to get them done right.", might be a good thing... personally if I dislike someone on first impression and later find they are hard-working and dedicated - so they are arrogant but it is justified - then I like them better. but, that's because I'm that way myself.



Look at it this way - you're very successful. So by definition you're *more* successful than most other people. And people being people will feel bad about that, and since no-one wants to feel bad about themselves they will associate the bad feeling with you.



You've got a good life and do well - great. Don't rub it in though.

Answer 3

Some of them are probably jealous of your success, definitely. But I think you need to be really open to the possibility that you're coming across as a bit of a prick. Saying things like "I have gained a chip on my shoulder. I am easily irritated by people and in-experience." and "because I am knowledgeable and maybe should not give advise as much as I should just listen... I poke and prod to find out what I want to know" makes you sound like a bully who is only concerned about getting what you want, when you want it. You sound really full of yourself, tbh, and I bet people find you really fake, if you're so 'over the top enthusiastic' and 'blow positive things out of porportion'. People don't feel comfortable and generally don't want to be around someone who is acting, and it's really easy to tell. Just lighten up, relax. Don't be so desperate for people to like you, and I think you'll find that a lot more people do than when you try so hard.

Answer 4

They're all haters... Forget about them, your family will always love you.

Answer 5

they are jelous of you. Be nice to the people. nd you should be fine

Answer 6

they are jealous!