Would you ever go to an engagement party, wedding, or baby shower and NOT bring a gift?

Question

I got married 2 years ago and it blew my mind that a dozen or so guests didnt bring a gift or even a card. My husband and I don't have a lot of money, my parents don't have a lot of money- yet we still threw a very nice 25,000 or so wedding. It floors me that people would show up to an expensive wedding, take up space at an expensive venue, take home expensive party favors, eat expensive food, drink expensive champagne and drinks- and NOT even have the decency to bring a card. I'm not money or gift hungry but I would NEVER go to an even and not bring a gift. I think it is the tackiest, most rude thing, and frankly- I'm not friends with those lowlife people anymore.

I always see people asking questions like- "If I get invited to a wedding shower and a wedding, do I have to bring a present to both?" YES! I can't tell you how many times I've been invited to the shower and the wedding, and the bachelorette party- And I bring a gift to all 3. If you don't have a lot of money, buy something less expensive!

We are now expecting a baby and we have been blessed to recieve some wonderful gifts. I think that is to be expected. If one of my friends was having a baby- baby shower or not I would send a gift.

Bottom line- when a friend gets married, has a baby, etc- you give a gift.

Answer 1

it happens



i once went to a wedding where there were maybe 15 people who didn't bring a gift because it cost them money to fly in and stay at a hotel

they said their gift to the bride & groom was flying in to the wedding



lol

Answer 2

It is disrespectful yes - but as for weddings, no, if you have little money, especially given the cost of weddings you should NOT buy a lesser gift - but gift the money you do have put in a card instead next time, so the couple can pool other money gifts together and buy a more expensive gift to commemorate their day or contribute to the honeymoon. This isnt so important for engagements/birthdays/showers of course as its the thought that counts.



Dont be afraid to ask - "is there a reason you didnt give us a gift/card"? Some people are not aware of etiquette, or they think they are exempt - a little gentle reminder does no harm.



I dont give gifts at engagement parties - no etiquette, especially in the UK (the home of etiquette), requires you too as there will be a wedding gift to buy which requires the better gift. Its a bonus if people do though. Baby showers are less common in the UK than America, but we still buy gifts once its born - and ive organised a few showers for friends where i issue a list of what the mother needs should people choose to buy a gift.



What can i say, some people were just raised better than others.

Answer 3

That is definitely disrespectful. I for one cannot even go to a tacky birthday party without a gift, even if it a small one. People are still grateful. Besides, they spent their time and their money preparing everything so that their guests would enjoy themselves. The least the guests can do is stop by a store and buy at least something. If they're short on money they can even make a handmade gift, which is amazing because it has a lot of thought put into it. The people that don't bother with anything are very rude and selfish, especially if you've been to their parties/ceremonies and given them gifts, and they don't return the favor. Another annoying thing is when people say that they forgot to bring the present which has already been bought, so they'll give it next time they see you. Uh-huh, of course they bought that present =\ Lame excuse.

Answer 4

Ofcourse! That's common sense. If you've invited to a wedding, birthday, or any shower (bridal or baby) you bring a gift. I can't believe people would show up without a gift..that is the most selfish thing to do. If they are on a budget and they are invited to the bridal shower,bachelorette party and the wedding, then i suggest they break up the budget between those three events but dont go empty handed :). Good luck with the baby :)

Answer 5

I agree with you that if you go to a wedding or shower then you should bring a gift. I personally don't like engagement parties....to me that is just looking for gifts so I wouldn't go. I would bring a gift to the wedding and any showers though which I think is plenty. I don't see the point of engagement parties but that's just my opinion. I absolutely would give a baby gift to a friend who is expecting...regardless if there was a shower or not. How anyone can go to a wedding in particular and not bring a gift is beyond me.

Answer 6

The only time I would not do it is if the invitation read, "No gifts please". (Some people who have a first marriage later in life already have everything they need).



Maybe some people will read this and learn something. You are correct.



It would also be nice if as a single person who bought a home, I was given maybe a token gift of some kind when I moved in. (I don't believe in throwing your own housewarming party). I guess single people are not supposed to have anything nice. We just like to eat off paper plates and watch black and white TV for the rest of our lives, surrounded by cats.

Answer 7

I agree totally with you. And these people who don't bring anything would be the first to complain when it happens to them. Congratulations on your impending arrival! I hope you receive some lovely baby gifts!

Answer 8

Normally for the engagement celebration you simply provide a first-class wants card. For the bridal bathe a present, relying at the subject matter, and for the marriage ceremony you additionally convey a present or a card with a present cert. in it or $$, as much as you.

Answer 9

Yes I do think its disrespectful. I feel that if you cannot afford a gift then I not to go. That is how I feel about it.